The Oak, the Wall, and The Fence, and The Two Holes
by Lapiz Sagana
Summary: After a mission, while in the hot springs, Naruto and Sakura put two-and-two together and stumble upon a rock they have been tripping on all their lives. Or was it an oak, a wall, or a fence?


**The Oak, The Wall, The Fence, and The Two Holes**

**Summary:** After a mission, while in the hot springs, Naruto and Sakura put two-and-two together and stumble upon a rock they have been tripping on all their lives. Or was it an oak, a wall, or a fence?

* * *

><p><strong>Naruto:<strong>

Shikamaru would turn seventeen tomorrow at three o'clock in the afternoon, the exact time he was born. The plan according to Ino was that everybody would pretend to have forgotten his special day in order to give her surprise more impact. She ordered me to meet her so she could remind me for the hundredth time how I should act as a diversion. Truth was, I thought the whole forgetting part was a mean trick, and I voiced it out to her.

"Why would it be mean?" She bobbed her head up from the bed of grass she was applying fertilizer on, eyebrows raised and lips slightly tugged downwards.

I whipped my head around her garden for any onlooker, crouched beside her, and whispered, "Well, when I was a kid, I was expecting people to be happy and to greet me because I turned seven, but nobody did. I really thought they were playing a prank on me and were planning something mischievous, but as it turned out…" I caught the spider that fell from its web. It hopped from my palm and to the eroded soil. "They weren't playing a joke," I continued. "They just didn't know it was my birthday."

When I looked at her, she had that half-stunned, half-embarrassed look about her, as when facing the tip of a kunai in battle, and one could not decide on how to dodge it. I waved my hand in front of her face. "Earth to Ino!"

"Huh?" She turned to the soil in her gloved hands, at the spider crawling away, and then at my face, blinking herself back to the present. "Oh! Yeah, well, Shikamaru doesn't really like getting attention, so he won't mind if people forget."

I snorted. "Yeah. I think there's a high possibility he forgets his own birthday."

"Anyway, please do not screw this up, Naruto! If he gets even the slightest hint from you about the surprise party, I will kill you with the cake-knife!"

I pouted, resting my chin on my knees and glaring at her tulips. "You always, sincerely, expect me to mess up, don't you?"

"Hold this." She tossed me a bag of worms.

I caught the rim of the clear plastic with two fingers and shuddered. The last I held so much worm in one hand, I was eight, and Choji and Kiba ran away from me in the playground. In fact, all the children either cried or called me the king of worms. Only Shino stayed to observe me. "Ino," I said.

She unzipped the bag and picked out three worms. "Don't tell me you're disgusted, Naruto. I won't believe that coming from you."

"You didn't even hear what I told you, did you?"

She paused that awkward pause again as she dropped the worms in the holes around the soil and packed it with fertilizer. "Of course I heard you! Don't tell anyone I said this, but you're a far cry from the idiot you used to be. A lot of people depend on you now, but sometimes the lot of us from our batch can't get over the fact you were a really messed-up kid back in the academy."

"Humph. I'll show all of you once I become Hokage!"

Ino snatched the bag from me, scowling. "You're so…_you_, Naruto. By the way, I'll kill you with a shuriken instead if you greet Shikamaru a happy birthday before the surprise party!"

**Sakura:**

Of course I was assigned to gather the wood for the bonfire tomorrow evening. This was so typical of Ino. She would abuse my strength, she would criticize my work, but she would not admit to my face how in love she was with Shikamaru.

I closed my eyes, pushed back fantasies of pushing Ino off the stone head of the Third Hokage, and focused on leveling the amount of chakra in my hands. Spreading my fingers and approving of the sustained sharpness of my chakra, I walked up a tree and cut the branches off.

It would be cruel to leave the trees bare, so I chose only the fattest and longest of the branches and left the younger ones unharmed. Within an hour, I had gone through nearly all the trees in this deserted forest near Konoha's farming district, and gathered enough to feed the bonfire until past midnight.

While I walked out the forest with the net of wood scraping the soil behind me, I looked up at the oak tree blocking my way. I stopped. I peered behind it, expecting to find something and finding nothing. My fingers let loose on the rope as I roamed the circumference of the tree, trying to recall why it was so damn familiar.

Somewhere at the back of my mind – hiding - was the knowledge that something happened here that was now buried in the memories of the past years.

I touched the trunk and traced its crevices. The roughness pressing against my flesh reminded me of Sasuke, of the moments I shared with him. This suppressed memory certainly had no relation to him. If it did…I would not have forgotten it.

I dragged the pile of wood around the tree, and went back to where Ino was waiting for me.

A memory unrelated to Sasuke was no memory worth keeping, after all.

**Naruto:**

"Today is the day!" I propped up the collar of my jacket, admiring Jiraiya's fine taste in clothing, and commended my reflection in the mirror. I met Shikamaru in Ichiraku Ramen, where I attempted to have him buy me a bowl of ramen, and to which he so willingly obliged.

We were sitting abreast while eating Ichiraku's special when I noticed something different about him. It was something I had seen before, and I beat my mind attempting to recall with whom. "Shikamaru," I swallowed the last twirl of noodle in my chopsticks. "I don't know if I'm right, but you're wearing Sakura's face."

He spit his lemonade back into the plastic cup and gawked. "W-wearing Sakura's….face? What the hell, Naruto?"

"No, I mean, she has that face whenever Sasuke was around. Ah, you're glowing! Hey, are you glowing because you're with me?" The implication propelled heat up my face. I inched away from him. "I don't like the sound of that, you know."

Shikamaru smacked his fist on my head. Brotherly gesture, I felt, but hurt as though he was intending to crack my skull. "What do you take me for, huh? You're so troublesome I don't know why I'm wasting time here with you. I'm going."

"Wait, you haven't paid!"

"Pay it yourself!"

I emptied my wallet on the counter, thanked the chef's daughter, and ran after him. "So, are you in love?"

"I'm not. Now will you shut up?" He cocked his head to the side, pretending to be studying the shops by the sidewalk.

"I'm good at keeping secrets, you know." I grinned.

Shikamaru dipped his hands in his pockets. "Really? Like the time I told you not to tell Asuma about the scroll with that wind technique I took for you without permission but you passed him by the next day and thanked him? Even told him how I snuck it out, didn't you? You're so annoying."

"Okay, so I let it slip the last time. Big deal!"

Yeah, that one time I was even genuinely grateful to Asuma, and the next I saw Shikamaru, he chased me with one of Sai's lions around Konoha. "Won't you tell me? Is it a girl from another village? What do you like about her? Is she older, that's why you won't tell? Or, wait…you're shy because she's someone we all know, eh?"

His face flushed a deep red. I got him. "Well," I tucked my hands behind my head, elongating my strides to emphasize my casualness about the topic. "I'm not exactly helpless in that area…would you like some help?"

"Nah." He glanced behind us, at a shop further back, and a little smirk crept up his face.

I tilted my head back at where he was looking, but a wall lining the last alley we passed caught my eye.

"Why are you stopping?" he said.

"I…" My arm raised on its own, and my forefinger pointed at the alley. "I've been there."

Shikamaru followed my line of sight. "It's very unlikely, Naruto, since there are so many alleys in Konoha, but wait, I forgot you've hidden in every one of them before you were eight while performing your antics. _Of course you've been there_. Every kid has been there."

We took a peek of the place, saw a common alley at first, but then I felt something more familiar, like a touch of sentiment slowly resurfacing from some place deep within me. I pressed my palm on the cold wall and traced the pattern of the graffiti. A twitching urge in my legs made me jump up and peek behind it.

"Well?" he said.

"I don't know." I jumped down and turned around. "Let's go visit Kurenai? I wanna see how big her belly's gotten!"

Sakura: I zipped the dress up and prodded Ino to turn around. "Ta da! Hey, you don't look so much of a pig in that dress!"

Ino kept silent. I slapped her upper back to urge her to breathe. "Planning to suffocate yourself and have someone resuscitate you? 'Cause you'd do best to know that there are only three men helping us around: Shino, Kiba, and Choji. While I'm sure they'd gladly give you a mouth-to-mouth, I don't think you'll be happy to be revived.

She put her hands on her waist and skimmed the dress. It wasn't bad, in my opinion. She sewed it herself because she didn't have enough money to buy the grander one in Mika's shop. Blue suited her like stars in the sky, but of course I'd never let that compliment get to her.

"Am I too fat?" she said.

"That again? Ino, if you're fat then what do you call me?" Adjusting the mirror so she could see herself from head to toe, I said, "C'mon, the dress fits perfectly and I'm sure everyone will be so damned impress their jaws will permanently hang, but we really need to finish the lamps."

Horror flashed in her eyes, and it worried me when it stayed longer than it normally did these past few days it had been appearing. I stood in front of her and gripped her shoulders. "Ino, what's wrong? Lately you've been spacing out, looking absolutely terrified."

She didn't tell me; she said she didn't want to. Ino only smiled and motioned for me to unzip the dress.

In our years of friendship, I had learned that Ino would tell me anything that fell into the category of 'normal jabber' and 'something temporary that I feel'. But there were things under the category of 'serious' and 'more permanent' that she never shared until she was resolute. That was one of her qualities I liked; that one persona of her self-control she nurtured while growing up that I truly envied. When she'd tell me later on, I would know she had thought about it, and was more than fairly serious about the matter. To question her was my right as a friend, but for now, I would be patient.

Although, I had my suspicions.

**Naruto:**

Shikamaru was not a hard victim to handle. I told him Choji was dying and we had to go visit him in his house immediately because he would probably want to see his best friend before he died, and Shikamaru only yawned and said, "Indigestion. He's been eating a little over his normal diet lately." But he came without complaint.

Choji's house was empty when we arrived. Shikamaru scratched the back of his ear and walked straight to the direction of the backyard.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"You said Choji's dying; after Asuma's burial he told me he'd want to die in one of the biggest holes he could create with his jutsu. How can I say this…ever since, he's always been hiding there when he's depressed, and his stomach's probably depressed."

"Wow." I trotted behind him. "You really know Choji."

Shikamaru paused, saying he sensed a lot of chakra behind the backdoor, and refused to open it altogether. He threatened me so I would spill what was truly happening. I grinned and kicked the door open.

"_Surprise_!"

Really, I, too, was surprised by the number of people present, by the lamps above us that criss-crossed the yard, by the bonfire at the middle, by the smiles on their faces, by the temporary stupor that made me believe this was, for once, meant for me.

"Happy birthday, _Shikamaru_!"

The dream ended. I stood aside to let Shikamaru absorb the atmosphere of love and excitement in the air drawn about by his birthday.

He complained to Ino, who was the first to approach him, and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Hey," he said, stealing everybody's attention, "Ino's my girlfriend."

All souls in the backyard stilled, and I sensed the chakra level rise. A girl beside me shrieked. It was Sakura, and a tide of jokes and congratulations and condolences echoed as they roamed the yard.

In a blur of hours, they all had too much to drink. The bonfire, which Sakura kept alive by throwing logs on, started to die. I sat at the corner, watching her assist Ino with entertaining the crowd and sustaining the buffet.

_ When will I be able to say what Shikamaru said?_

In my eyes, that girl handling a plastic cup in her right hand and a tray of tarts in her left was the only person in the yard with a color. Sakura wasn't outshined by the giant flame like the rest of them were; she only glowed brighter.

As though hearing my mental cry, she turned her head to my direction and excused herself from Shizune.

"Why aren't you joining?" She sat beside me, sliding the tray between our feet.

I had no appetite.

"Mission tomorrow with Kakashi." I glimpsed her cup. "Did you drink? You're our medic, remember?"

"Man, you sound tired. What happened to you?"

With a deep breath, I willed myself to look at her, but when I did, I saw a metal pole between us.

**Sakura:**

The following morning, I had a headache. Naruto picked me up from my apartment and kept talking along the way to keep my mind working. Five times, he saved me from tripping on stray demijohns and bumping into stalls as we waded the shopping district. I was fortunate that we were due to meet at dawn, else the usual bustle of the shoppers would have compelled me to vomit in the nearest alleys.

Five cups of sake and I was a mess. Great.

Even greater was our one week mission outside Konoha.

"Security guards? Are you kidding, Kakashi?" I swallowed back last night's cupcakes.

He chuckled quietly. "No, I'm not. The Hokage downgraded it because I've exhausted myself in my last mission. Here we are."

It wasn't all bad, after all. The sister of the feudal lord was obedient to every security measure we laid out for her, and she did not complain with the abrupt changes we made – even if it was her wedding we compromised.

Naruto was very sympathetic towards her. He encouraged her that this was one moment in her life she shouldn't worry about, a time dedicated to her happiness alone. He would be there to protect her, so she needn't worry for her safety.

Kakashi and I exchanged a look upon hearing him. Naruto had grown up.

The night before the wedding, we stayed up late watching the stars. He said, 'I'd give half my life to see mom and dad during their wedding."

It was sad, because I never said anything. I couldn't find the right words, but now I wish I tried.

Watching those two lovers wed the next day, thoughts of Ino and Shikamaru during the surprise birthday party overwhelmed me. He had said it so casually, almost just blurted it, that only half the crowd heard him at first. I heard him loud and clear, though. I saw him snake his arm around her waist like she had always belonged right next to him.

Two pieces of a puzzle finally found, Ino told me afterwards. I had been honest and told her I was expecting her to be more thrilled, but as it was, she was plain nervous.

She only bowed her head and muttered with a sheepish smile, "I was afraid people would tell me I wasn't good enough for him. Hah, me and paranoia!"

That statement was too humble for her; it fit Shikamaru better. Yet I could not take it away from her that, as hard it was to believe, she had grown out of our childish fantasies and taken love into another level of importance. When they confessed to each other and decided they should tell their friends, she had spent the succeeding evenings brainwashing herself to be more disciplined in her shinobi ways. She would be the best kunoichi in Konoha, she promised him.

Now, it wasn't enough to have a strong, capable, and handsome man standing next to you in every important moment of your life; that man had to be someone who could inspire you to become a better person.

Ino found Shikamaru. Mine was still out there, lost and undecided.

The wedding ended in a blink of an eye. I caught Naruto staring at me. Kakashi scolded us both for spacing out.

**Naruto:**

Despite our failure to be fully alert during the wedding, Kakashi treated us to the nearest hot springs on our way home to Konoha. If it was for his benefit or for ours, I couldn't care. I loved hot springs.

The first thing I did was take a dip. I watched the steam rise from the water, willing my thoughts to fly away with it.

There was a splash across from me. Kakashi flicked his hand up. "Yo."

"Kakashi," I muttered, closing my eyes, "have you ever felt…insignificant?"

"Hmm, insignificant? Sure. Master Jiraiya won't write another book of the Icha Icha series, even just for me. I love his books."

"Ah, never mind!"

"What is this about Naruto? Is something troubling you?"

I wondered about that. "Sometimes," I said. "There are these really rare moments that…I think about life and ask if I missed something. I ask if I'm good…_enough_. I try to think where I'm going wrong about all of it, but I just can't figure it out."

"That's difficult." Kakashi sank lower into the water. "Have you asked yourself why you think you missed something?"

**Sakura:**

I never intended to eavesdrop. I was on the other side of the fence, all ready enjoying the steam in the quiet and solitude of the night even before they came and started muttering to themselves about life.

The next thing I knew, however, I was leaning on the fence, making out every word that escaped Naruto's mouth. Practice made it easier for me to convince myself that I was prying on his life only because if nobody did, he would fall apart and orchestrate trouble again. We couldn't have that now, what with the Akatsuki tailing him and Konoha in a very critical position.

Yes, that was all there was to it, until he answered Kakashi's question by mentioning names. Names of people I knew. Including mine.

"Nobody did that for me, and all these years I kept telling myself people are just too busy to remember every of their friend's birthdays," he said. "I'm not surprised they remembered Shikamaru's. After all, many people look up to him, plus he has Ino for a girlfriend now."

"And Sakura?"

"Sakura's always there for me, I know." There was hint of laughter in his voice. "But I don't want to add to her burdens when day and night she has Sasuke to worry about. As much as possible, I just want to be the happy part of her memories to make up for all the sad ones since Sasuke disappeared. I can't burden her any more with these stupid things…"

"For once," he went on to say, "I wish I had that something every normal kid my age has, though I still don't know what it is I'm looking for."

I hugged my knees, buried my face on my thighs, and sobbed.

Water splashed, and I heard Kakashi say, "Trust me, you know what to do."

I uncoiled from my shell, realizing he was talking to me and not to Naruto.

Once the sliding door shut on their side, I readied by voice to speak.

"H-hey, a-are you still there?"

A pause. "Sakura? Is that you?"

"Yeah, idiot."

"Wait, h-have you been listening to Kakashi and I?"

"Listening to what? I just came." I could imagine him sigh in relief, so easily fooled by me. "Can we talk? I…find it quite lonely here."

"I can go there."

"I can break your neck."

"I'll just stay on this side." He knocked on the fence. "You're here, right?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want to talk about? Are you all right?"

"Of course! It's…the wedding earlier. I was imagining Sasuke with us. You know, Team Seven back together again?"

It scared me, every time he paused to think. That wasn't Naruto. He spoke his mind. He did not think. He acted.

"I'm not sure Sasuke would want a big wedding," he cooed.

A pout played on my lips. Overhead, the sky hid all stars from me "I wasn't talking about if either one of us got married, you idiot. I was reminiscing…imagining how it would be with the two of you bickering while Kakashi and I try to complete the mission with lesser damage."

The fence sighed from the weight on the other side. "It'd be amusing for sure! He hates special occasions, and he'd starve himself rather than eat sweet things. Oh, and it's not as though the _girls _won't drool over him. I've seen them since the first time we went out as a team. Yuck!"

I laughed. "Yeah, I pretended not to notice, but they were everywhere!"

"First they'd be scared to go near his conceited face, next they're all over him after seeing him fight! It's not as though he's the only one who can throw a kunai! I beat the crap out of our enemies with more suave than he does half the time!"

Naruto was good, yes, but Sasuke had a charisma that seized my attention until the very last moment. Every moment…until the last one.

With his back turned to me, with the trees shedding leaves around us, with his breath on my nape…_Thank you, Sakura._

I put my fist over my heart. I could not deny it. During the wedding, I saw myself, standing next to Sasuke, holding Sasuke's hand, vowing my life to Sasuke, kissing Sasuke, becoming his wife.

"Do you dream about him?" he asked, quietly.

"Sometimes. Him. Home. Finally."

"Me. Beating him up. Dragging him home. Killing Orochimaru once and for all."

Sasuke and I. Together. I tipped my head back. I felt warmth emanate from the fence. "Hey, Naruto, do you remember when you first saw him? When you first met?"

"…By the river. I always passed him by going home. You?"

"At the park. The girls were talking about him. He walked right past me. He smelled like the sea."

"Um, so, do you remember when you…like, first met me?"

I sat up straight. "At school, right? You were the class clown. Made me laugh real hard."

"No." He moved around, making the fence shudder. "Like, the first time we talked or saw each other. It's there; I can almost remember it…"

"It's weird. When you said that, an oak tree came to mind."

"Which one?"

"The really old, really thick and really tall oak tree by the farmer's district." I shaped the air with my hands, and then felt stupid because Naruto couldn't see me. "You know, where we used to go picking flowers in class?"

"Ew. That class?" Naruto chortled. "Wait, yeah…I somehow remember picking flowers in that area - I mean trying to pick the right ones."

I gasped. "I remember, Naruto! It's the first time I ever approached you. I mean, with all the parents saying no, of course I…"

"It's all right, Sakura," he said. "You can say it. It's nothing."

His conversation with Kakashi swamped my attention. He was reflecting on where he went wrong, when the truth was, it was Konoha that went wrong. Konoha neglected him; Naruto didn't even know why. Poor kid. "I peeked behind the oak tree, saw you cussing at the wild flowers. You looked like you wanted to rip them apart. If you were furious or confused, I never asked. I think I just went behind the tree again and said – "

"Pink," he finished.

"Yeah. Pink. It would go well with all the white and purple flowers in your hands." I would not tell him how nervous I was, talking to the taboo of Konoha. But alone in that forest, hidden behind that oak tree, I felt he was a normal kid; someone lost and misunderstood like every other kid was.

"Does an alley near Ino's flower shop ring any bell to you?"

I thought about it. "Oh! The one with the yellow and red graffiti? Weren't you the one who put that there?"

"The wall?"

"The graffiti, you moron!"

"I don't remember. Put too many around town as a past time when I was a kid. How do _you_ know, Sakura?"

Summer. It was summer. "I've been friends a long time with Ino, and since her mother died, I've been helping her out…somewhat. Behind their shop, there's a tiny passageway to the backdoor of Mrs. Ukino's house. I leave the bags of seed she orders on the steps leading to her kitchen. One afternoon, as I was returning to the shop, there was this super annoying sound - a sharp hissing. Later you told me it came from the can of paint you stole."

"We talked?" he exclaimed.

"I guess. I asked who was there behind the wall. You said you're the next Hokage." I smiled at the memory of that brick wall. It was gigantic to me as a child. Returning there the day before Shikamaru's birthday, I wondered how short I was to think _that_ was big. "I think I even made a mental note during the Fifth's inauguration to remind you, but it slipped from my mind."

"What did we talk about?"

"The reason you were painting the walls."

"And I said…?"

"Because you're going to be the next Hokage and people ought to know that!"

We both laughed.

"How did you know that was me?"

"I told Ino and we checked the wall. She grumbled and said it was the blonde boy with the whiskers running around again, and I said 'Naruto'."

"Hmm."

"You don't remember?"

"I'm trying to. Did I ever check for who was behind the oak tree and the alley wall?"

The towel no longer clung to my body, and my hair had frozen in all directions. "Never. Why didn't you?"

There was movement behind me. "I dunno, just that when I saw you at school with that cute ribbon on your hair I decided you were the prettiest of them all and you deserved only the best. Maybe those previous meetings counted as a reason…even unconsciously. Even though I didn't know it was you."

I grinned, but my heart was fluttering. "By the best, you mean yourself?"

"Who else?" he said. "Of course it's me!"

**Naruto:**

All these time I imagined her reactions. She giggled that cute giggle like I predicted she would. It had become a hobby of mine since Team Seven was created – gauging her reaction to everything I said or did. They mattered to me, and I hoped she knew that.

An object, an emotion, a heavy presence without a name, lifted from my chest. I sat closer to the fence and rubbed my head on the wood, dreaming it was her head next to mine.

"How come you remember those and I don't?" I said.

She yawned. "You were different, something like a mystery, and I thought you were worth remembering."

My heart punched my ribs. I swore a bone in my chest cracked. "Worth…remembering, huh?"

"You always were. What would Team Seven be like without you? Who else would have driven me to beg the Hokage, of all people, to be my master so that I could have something to brag to you about when you came back? I hated how useless I was and how passionate you were. I was…yeah, jealous. I don't know how you do it."

My hands curled on the fence_. Please _disappear._ Please disappear_.

"I'll always remember you."

_ Fence, disappear!_

"Maybe even forever, Naruto."

I lost myself, so similar to how stupor consumed me during Shikamaru's surprise birthday party. Now, however, it was really for me. She said my name. This compliment was mine.

"I hate this!" she screamed. The wood between my middle and forefinger wobbled, and a trace of green chakra penetrated. There was a bump of flesh. It retreated. Sakura's eye appeared from the other end of the fence. "Sorry, Naruto. There was always something between us, huh? There, I made a hole. I can see you. Now smile!"

Laughter curdled in my throat as I looked through. The hole was perfect. I could see the person who said she remembered me as a child - the phase in my life when nobody bothered to say hello. "You'd have to create a bigger hole to see me smile!"

"By the way, Naruto…" She squinted. "What would you like to do on your birthday?"

"Why? Are you planning to throw a surprise party for me too?"

"Nah, you're too nosy not to figure a surprise beforehand. C'mon, what do you want?"

Introduce you as my girlfriend but you wouldn't like that. "I'll bring Sasuke back for you, all right?" I said. "And let's be Team Seven again. I…I promise, Sakura."

Another hole appeared beside the first. "Naruto…you don't have to do it alone."

We looked each other in the eyes. She was beautiful.

**Sakura:**

Another promise. I would not accept that he would risk his like in order to fulfill it while I just stood back and watched. "We'll do it together! You and me, okay?"

Those blue eyes sparkled with the best and worst of life. Right there and then, I was grateful Naruto was my friend, and that he became a part of me.

I scowled.

It was hard to see him through this fence.

One day, I would be strong enough to break every wall between us and I would see Naruto for who he was, and he would never have to ask if there was anything missing in his life.

"If Sasuke never comes back, I'll stay with you."

"What did you say, Sakura?"

"Ah, no, nothing!"

"Hey, you're only wearing a towel!"

"Naruto!"


End file.
